Rave - Sept. 30th

Never being able to erase this image and video from my head.

Heavens above. I stumbled across this video while reading my personal favorite, dlisted. Any time I need to laugh so hard my abs feel like I just got punched by the Incredible Hulk, I read it. Love love love it. 

Anyway, Busty Heart was listed as the hot s**t (must keep this SFW) of the day. From the picture alone I knew she was a winner. Then I saw the video. Clutch the pearls in horror! She walked on stage and my back hurt. She tried to speak German and my ears hurt. She started dancing and the snarky comment part of my brain hurt. She walked up to that first beer can and I let out a little gasp. (Minor point - check the look on the host’s face at 1:27. He knows this is ‘bout to get REAL.)

I was like Grandma Marlene watching this. When the watermelon appeared, I tried to get up but my legs had stopped working.

I especially like when everyone wants to touch her chesticles except the black man. He was gone. He said, “Aww, HELL NAW” and bolted.

Then she got three stars. Although they probably thought she’d smack the taste of their mouths if they didn’t.

Lesson of the day: Germans are freaks. Americans have the world’s strongest tittays and are attention-starved.

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Dictionary Time!!!

clutch the pearls in horror: you are horrified, shocked, or surprised; named for that involuntary movement of throwing your hand up to your neck.

chesticles: nice new way to say bosom.

tittays: yet another way.